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Forum moderated by: Santi
 

 
Krss
admin



Okay. It is done.

I'm waiting for gabnic to give it a look-over and then I'm posting it.

And then, please please give me comments. It spent me, it really did. :smile:

Total Posts: 2307 | Joined Aug. 2006 | Posted on: 3:50 am on Oct. 20, 2006 | Link to this post
Krss
admin



The End

30,155 words.

Warning: :spoiler:s from now on.

Total Posts: 2307 | Joined Aug. 2006 | Posted on: 4:39 am on Oct. 20, 2006 | Link to this post
Almirena
Brain-Tingler



A delightful twisty ending, with a surprise Styles behind the mask. I did guess that the mind of each person was the killer but I did NOT guess that Gijs 2 would be involved! Nor did I anticipate the brain slime ending of him. *grin* You ended up killing Gijs yet again.

There were some lovely touches - the bit about the forum, for instance, and the "lurking as a guest", as well as the clues you did give us about Gijs 2 (which I missed because I thought Krss hallucinated his appearance, and I also thought the winking mirror was another hallucination).

-----
Half-light, purblind streams where moonlight washes over trees / Lustred with a glow, as if from pearls upon the throat
Where the night's kiss lights upon her; rose's rhapsodies, / Warm as oils, imbue this bliss-fed hour with trembling note
"Where-? And who-?" Her breath's unspoken soul is light's perdue
That, hidden, seeks the unseen with a sigh… "Ah, L'inconnu!"

Total Posts: 1033 | Joined Sep. 2006 | Posted on: 4:56 am on Oct. 20, 2006 | Link to this post
Krss
admin



Thank you very much. :smile: I expected people to figure out the fact that the brain was the killer. That's why I saved something else for the final twist. :smile: And I'm glad you noticed the little touches about CX and about the apparitions of Gijs2. :smile:

:yay: I'm done with it!!

Total Posts: 2307 | Joined Aug. 2006 | Posted on: 4:58 am on Oct. 20, 2006 | Link to this post
Tsolaelia
White Matter



:clap: :clap: :clap: I loved it! Especially Santi calmly putting on the mask.. and the atmosphere and tension was just perfect, all the way through, with references to all the five senses - the malodourous smells and crashing thunder. I know it was a murder mystery, but that was so much fun to read! Thank you for writing it, Krss. :smile:

Total Posts: 460 | Joined Sep. 2006 | Posted on: 5:13 am on Oct. 20, 2006 | Link to this post
Krss
admin



:biggrin: Thank you so much.. It was great fun to write. :smile: I think the mask scene is my favorite one in the whole story.

Total Posts: 2307 | Joined Aug. 2006 | Posted on: 5:15 am on Oct. 20, 2006 | Link to this post
Tsolaelia
White Matter



Santi may have won the prize by the rules, but actually accepting it wasn't exactly a sane act, in my opinion.. :eek: Was he just emotionally shaken up or did the amplifier direct his decision?

Total Posts: 460 | Joined Sep. 2006 | Posted on: 5:21 am on Oct. 20, 2006 | Link to this post
Krss
admin



He was shaken up. Gijs' death and his guilt in it affected him deeply, and maybe I should have made it clear somewhere, but he decided to use the lab and the house to do good. I just didn't find a good place to insert this without spoiling the dramatism.

Total Posts: 2307 | Joined Aug. 2006 | Posted on: 5:23 am on Oct. 20, 2006 | Link to this post
Tsolaelia
White Matter



:nod: No, that makes sense. I'm just relieved that Santi hasn't become an equally sadistic Styles2!

Total Posts: 460 | Joined Sep. 2006 | Posted on: 5:30 am on Oct. 20, 2006 | Link to this post
Krss
admin



No, he hasn't. :smile:

Total Posts: 2307 | Joined Aug. 2006 | Posted on: 5:30 am on Oct. 20, 2006 | Link to this post
Marion
forebrain



I'll never see the game, Gray Matter, the same way again. That's how powerful this story was.

Total Posts: 624 | Joined Aug. 2006 | Posted on: 5:42 am on Oct. 20, 2006 | Link to this post
Krss
admin



That's.. probably the best compliment I've ever gotten.

:blush:

:smile::smile::smile::smile:

Total Posts: 2307 | Joined Aug. 2006 | Posted on: 5:43 am on Oct. 20, 2006 | Link to this post
Bearic
Fear the banana! That or get me icecream. =]



You should write for a living. That ending was great.

-----
"Rectitude carried to excess harden into stiffness; benevolence indulged beyond measure sinks into weakness."

Total Posts: 523 | Joined Sep. 2006 | Posted on: 6:05 am on Oct. 20, 2006 | Link to this post
Krss
admin



You guys.. you are way too nice, and I'm SO happy right now.:biggrin: Thank you. :hug:

Total Posts: 2307 | Joined Aug. 2006 | Posted on: 6:06 am on Oct. 20, 2006 | Link to this post
Gijs
Krss fodder



You're very good Krss. I had a very fun time reading this all. Loved the ending. Thanks for the great story, Krss! :smile:

-----
:gkrules:

Total Posts: 949 | Joined Aug. 2006 | Posted on: 8:24 am on Oct. 20, 2006 | Link to this post
Santi
Phantom moderator



This was one of the most delightful mysteries I have ever read.
At a certain time I was convinced that the killer was Gijs, and that he was only pretending to be dead (soo Ten Little Indians-like!:tongue: ), but I would have never imagined that Gijs2 was going to have a part in the story, too.

The ending was superb: perhaps the whole story would not have been as good with a different one. Endings are so difficult issues... It is so easy to fall into grotesque or into plain & uninteresting, while you made it dramatic enough, surprising but perfectly believable. Very much like Jane Jensen's endings.

Yes, this in more than a sense is the first episode of the Gray Matter series. We have what happened before, the house itself has a story now.

Gray Matter 0 - Ten Little Forumites. A writer rivalling with Jane Jensen in talent and style... Now Jane will have it harder to come up with people's expectancies! :smile:

Thank you Krss for the time and the effort. Hope that this first piece of Gray Matter fan fiction won't get lost.

-----
"Ich werde sie sehen!" ruf' ich morgens aus, wenn ich mich ermuntere und mit aller Heiterkeit der schönen Sonne entgegenblicke; "ich werde sie sehen!" und da habe ich für den ganzen Tag keinen Wunsch weiter. Alles, alles verschlingt sich in dieser Aussicht. [Goethe]

Total Posts: 1703 | Joined Aug. 2006 | Posted on: 8:34 am on Oct. 20, 2006 | Link to this post
Krss
admin



You're very good Krss. I had a very fun time reading this all. Loved the ending. Thanks for the great story, Krss! :smile:

:smile: Thank you very much, Gijs.. :smile: It wouldn't have been a story without you.

Oh, Santi.. :smile:
This was one of the most delightful mysteries I have ever read.

Thank you. Thank you.. :smile:

At a certain time I was convinced that the killer was Gijs, and that he was only pretending to be dead (soo Ten Little Indians-like!:tongue: ), but I would have never imagined that Gijs2 was going to have a part in the story, too.

Gijs was one of the false leads. I put a lot of red herrings in there..:tongue: I was pretty sure no one would guess Gijs2. :smile:

The ending was superb: perhaps the whole story would not have been as good with a different one. Endings are so difficult issues... It is so easy to fall into grotesque or into plain & uninteresting, while you made it dramatic enough, surprising but perfectly believable. Very much like Jane Jensen's endings.

:biggrin: I'm so glad it worked for you..

Yes, this in more than a sense is the first episode of the Gray Matter series. We have what happened before, the house itself has a story now.

:smile::smile::smile:

Gray Matter 0 - Ten Little Forumites. A writer rivalling with Jane Jensen in talent and style... Now Jane will have it harder to come up with people's expectancies! :smile:

Just for that, *:hug:s Santi to death and beyond*

Thank you Krss for the time and the effort. Hope that this first piece of Gray Matter fan fiction won't get lost.

Thank you for reading it and for drawing up the amazing plans of the house, which in the end made the setting much more fitting for the story. :smile: The details you changed helped me make up a more believable plot. Thank you so much. I'm really grateful.

And it won't get lost. After Tsolaelia edits it, and after I make the trailer, and after I draw (yes, me!) some sketches of the chars, I'll make a website for this, with your fanart and fanstories it spawned (if you guys will permit me). That way it'll always be there for anyone to read.. But you'll need to be a CX forumite to really get the little details.

Thanks for waking me to such comments.. :smiletear:

Total Posts: 2307 | Joined Aug. 2006 | Posted on: 3:28 pm on Oct. 20, 2006 | Link to this post
Krss
admin



I must say that Santi's lines for the trailer are awesome.:biggrin: You were two different people! The stuck-up butler and the very powerful Santi. And you moan so very believably. :mischief: And your British accent!! :lol:

I love this. Thank you. :smile:

Total Posts: 2307 | Joined Aug. 2006 | Posted on: 4:23 pm on Oct. 20, 2006 | Link to this post
Krss
admin



All right, now that all the ten forumites except Nico the Webmaster (who I doubt will ever read it, and I sincerely hope he won't because he'll either kill me or fire me or both) have commented (r did by PM), it's time to credit the guesses.




r and Tsolaelia both got the Estradiol reference before I spelled it out.

Bearic suspected something fishy about Bearic and Marion, and it's a very valid thought in light of what he knew. He submitted this guess very early.

Marion realized that, no matter who the killer was, Styles would be the real killer. She said this right after Nico's death. She also realized immediately how gabnic would die, after learning about his phobia.

Almirena said Santi or Marion could have done Gijs in. Again, a very valid theory, according to the facts she had at that point. It was just before all the killing spree. As she said at the end, she later realized the mind was the real killer.

Great guesses, everyone. :smile: Have I missed anyone?

Total Posts: 2307 | Joined Aug. 2006 | Posted on: 6:24 pm on Oct. 20, 2006 | Link to this post
r
flatliner



yes. you missed that i suspected Mrs. Perkins of being Styles.. :pp

Total Posts: 491 | Joined Aug. 2006 | Posted on: 8:10 pm on Oct. 20, 2006 | Link to this post
 

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